A Journey Of The Soul
by BlackPack's Quileute Challenge
Summary: When Jake receives an invitation to Bella and Edward's wedding, he finds himself wanting to run and leave the pain and heartbreak behind, but Billy won't let Jake travel down that path alone, so together they embark on a journey of the soul.


**Title: A Journey Of The Soul**

**Characters: Jake, Billy, Quil, Bella**

**Rating: M for language**

**Disclaimer: I don't own or claim to own any of the characters contained herein, most of which were devised by SMeyer. The references to the legend of Coyote and Sun and the Quileute Legend of the Q'wati were discovered in research on the internet.**

**Summary: When Jake receives an invitation to Bella and Edward's wedding, he finds himself wanting to run and leave the pain and heartbreak behind, but Billy won't let Jake travel down that path alone, so together they embark on a journey of the soul where Jake not only finds himself again, but he learns new things about his people and others along the way.**

A Journey Of The Soul

Invitations are supposed to be one of the few _good_ things we receive in the mail, so why in the hell did the one I was holding in my hand make me feel like my heart had been ripped from my chest and I was being forced to watch the blood run in pools down my body as it was run through a wood chipper?

Okay, so this is a bit graphic, but that is exactly how I felt. The pearlescent paper even made me sick with its onion skin parchment that lay over the fancy writing to _protect_ it like _he_ was afraid I might get her name dirty with my greasy hands or something.

When I smelled the residue of overwhelming sweet gardenia, I should have just burned the thing, but like an animal drawn to the chunk of bloody meat in the middle of the hidden circle, I would step right into the steel jaws of the trap and let myself be caught. My only escape being to gnaw off my own paw to escape and be forever maimed by what I knew I should have left alone.

So I opened the stupid thing and there on the pristine pages before me, I saw what I thought was the end of my life pressed out in words on the textured stock. They were getting married. She had turned one-hundred and eighty degrees against everything I had tried to tell her—against everything we stood for and she had said _'yes' _to his proposal.

I didn't read anymore, it was just a blur then to me anyway and I knew that I couldn't stay around here while all of this took place. I threw the page of lies onto the coffee table in the small living room that had brought me comfort for the last seventeen years, but the walls were closing in on me and I felt restless.

I was on my way out the door, headed to the garage to think about what I would do, when my dad rolled past me. You know for an old man, he's not as dull as I've always thought. He took one look at the invitation, one look at me, and the direction I was heading, and he knew. He knew what I was thinking.

"Jake. It's time we took a road trip. You and me. There are some things in life that I think you need to see with your own eyes. You're out of school for the summer and I've got a little money put back, so let's go."

"Dad...I don't really want your pity right now. I just want to be al..."

"Oh, you're not getting my pity, Jacob Black. But I am not letting you go on this journey alone. It's not that I don't think you're man enough, it's just that you will need an elder to guide you as you find your way down this trail of tears."

"Trail of tears? You actually think I'm going to cry over this?" I asked, balling my fists up at the thought.

"No. Your body may not shed tears, but your soul will cry many nights and days and you will need guidance. Besides, this old man hasn't been on a vacation in years. So that settles it. You and me on the open road by dawn day after tomorrow."

"Why day after tomorrow? Why not in the morning," I asked, settling into the defeat of his words, curious about his reason for waiting.

"Because, I have something I'll need for you to prepare for our journey. Come on out back and I'll show you," he said, rolling past me and out the front door.

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. I felt a large knot forming in my throat as I thought about her floating down the isle in a gorgeous white gown that matched, if not accentuated her milky complexion. It hurt more than anything to know that I had lost her and in losing her, I felt like I might be losing myself too.

That's the reason I had to get away. I had to think about life and what it meant. The dreams and plans I had for the future had just gone up in smoke and it would take me a while to regroup and regain my focus on life—if I ever could.

But before I could figure all of this out, I would have to see what had my dad moving so quickly. So I followed him outside and around to the back of the house. There, behind the garage, was a baby blue VW Bus that looked like it had seen betters days.

"Whoa. Where'd you come up with that? How did you..."

"I bought it from old Solomon Glaston up on the Makah Reservation. He needed the money and you needed a way to escape, so her she is. You'll just need to do a few things to her before we can leave. That's why I said, day after tomorrow. What do you think?"

I scratched my head and walked around the relic of a vehicle. I knew how sound the Rabbit was, so I could only imagine that this one would be too. The body was overall good shape, the paint had held up fairly well, with only a couple of scratches here and there, so that just left the interior and of course the most important part, the motor.

I opened the rear door that housed the motor and bent down to have a look. I saw a few minor things that would need to be checked out, but it too looked like it wasn't in bad shape. I walked around and opened the side door to look inside. There was a seat missing in the rear and a few tears in the front seats but that could be remedied by some duck tape and seat covers.

"Well. I see some things that could be done to it, but what about the missing seat?" I asked, turning to look at my dad.

"I want you to take out the others in the back too and we're going to put a couple of cots along the sides, add some curtains, and we will have a rolling hotel. We can pull over at rest stops and RV parks to spend the night, then pull out whenever we get ready."

"Dad, I really don't feel..."

"Jake, I know how you're feeling and this is just what you need to take your mind off of what you no longer have any control over. This will be good for you and besides, I can't do much, other than supervise because of this damn chair, so you'll have to be my legs and hands," my dad said, slapping me on the arm.

I didn't know whether to be mad at him or hug him, so I chose to just get started. I had a feeling he really wanted to do this too for some reason, so I would do it for him.

The first thing I did was crank it and drive the VW around to the front of the garage. I took off my shirt and went to work. If we were leaving in a day, I would have to burn the midnight oil to get this thing ready, I thought.

I started by removing the remaining seats in the back and was surprised when my dad started bringing in two-by-fours from behind the garage. He didn't have to tell me what they were for. My mind was already hard at work on how to get this task accomplished.

Dad would hand me the things I needed and we worked well into the night. I wasn't ready to give it up yet, but when he insisted that I at least take a break for some food, I finally agreed. He had ordered pizzas so we sat in the garage and ate them, digging into my stash of warm soda and just listened to the crickets outside and the occasional howl of a wolf.

It hurt to hear the sounds of my brothers, out running free without pain and regret, but right then, I couldn't have phased anyway. If I had, I'm not sure I could have ever come back to this world, the one where so many memories plagued me. So I fought the urge, ate the remaining pizza, and went back to work.

By morning, we had the beds built and installed. I had taped up the seats and told dad we could grab some seat covers on the way out of town, but I had saved the motor for last. I knew I would need to be in top form to give it a good going over, so we went inside the house, showered and lay down for a few hours.

When I woke up around eleven o'clock, my dad was already up packing things. I drank some milk, grabbed a few hand fulls of buttered bread, and went back to the garage. I loved a good challenge just as much as anyone else did, but I knew this engine would have to carry us far, so it had to be in tip top shape.

I was surprised, however, to find that there were only minor things that needed to be done. I would need spark plugs and wires, oil for an oil change, an air filter, transmission fluid so it too could be changed, and various other minor things.

But my dad had already made arrangements with Sam to get the things we needed. I wondered why none of the pack had been around since yesterday, but when he pulled up in his truck and I saw the look on his face, I knew why.

He had ordered them to stay away. He thought it would be best if I had some time alone and after my dad had talked with him, he had agreed that this journey would be good for me.

"I think I got everything Billy ordered. I even picked up these seat covers for you so you wouldn't have to stop on the way out of town," he said, holding up two black covers that had snarling wolves splashed across the centers of the seats and the backs.

"Really Sam? Wolves?" I said in a half cocky tone.

"Hey. I didn't want you to forget your heritage. Jake, I want you to listen to your heart and clear your mind on this trip. Then when you come back, and you will come back, things will look differently. You'll see," he said, in that tone of voice that reeked of authority.

I just nodded and took the things he had brought to us. I smirked at my dad behind Sam's back and he gave me a look like I better be grateful, just as Sam reached his truck, so I called out, "Hey, thanks," but watched over my shoulder as he came back with something black in his hands.

"Oh, and I almost forgot. Emily made you some curtains for the bus. Huh, they match the seat covers. I don't know how she always does stuff like that. Anyway, here you go," he said handing them to me. "Billy, you know the boys and I will look after the place. You both be careful and help him to open his eyes," he said, finally shaking my dad's hand.

"It'll be a good trip for the both of us, Sam. Every man needs to take a journey of the soul in his lifetime. Jake is just getting to take his early," my dad said, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes a little.

Sam patted me on the shoulder before leaving and I watched him pull away. I felt a little strange knowing I would be leaving he and my brothers behind, but if I kept my focus and could get through this, I too knew I would be back, for better or worse.

As the day wore on, and I got down to the last things that needed changing on the VW, I began to feel the weariness set in. I tried to keep my mind on my work, but it was getting harder, the more tired I became.

By midnight, dad and I had finished and I reeved the engine up then let it idol back down, listening to the steady hum of a well-built machine.

"Sounds like she's ready, Jake. I think you've done a fine job. Let's go get some sleep and when we get up in the morning, we'll head out and grab breakfast on the road."

"Yeah, sure dad. You go on in, I'll be right there," I said, wiping my hands on a rag.

He left me there alone, and all I could see were flashes of Bella and me laughing, hugging, holding hands, and sharing life, right there amidst those four walls. It hurt like hell to think of her never being the same, ceasing to exist, and giving her _heart _to _him_, for all eternity.

The walls began to close in on me, so I turned off the light and went inside. I took a long hot shower and tried to wash the memories away, but it was futile. They were a part of me and I knew, even though it hurt right now, that I would never want to lose them because it would be like losing a part of myself.

That night I tossed and turned until I found a comfortable position, arms under my head, lying on my back, staring at the ceiling. The moon danced among the branches of the trees outside of my window, casting strange shadows upon the walls in my room and the ceiling. But I tried to focus on them, because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face staring at me as if to say she was sorry.

I don't know what time I finally gave into my exhaustion, but it was morning when my dad shook my bare foot that was sticking out from under my sheet.

"Jake. Jake. Son. It's time. Grab some clothes and your toothbrush and let's get on the road."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," was all I replied as I got up and dressed. I felt like I was in a daze. I didn't feel like myself.

I had never really been anywhere other than the Olympic Peninsula and it felt like I was leaving something behind. But as I closed and locked the door to our house behind me, I knew I would not come back the same person so whatever I was feeling, didn't really matter.

As we passed through Forks, I glanced around and tried to swallow hard to keep from letting my emotions get the best of me. I was so close to her right then, but she was so far away. I guess she always had been and I had just been kidding myself all along. But I did know one thing, I had given her every opportunity to change her mind—I had even given her a piece of myself, but it wasn't enough.

I pushed the gas peddle, as if trying to put it all behind me in the rearview mirror, and I sighed with relief when we left the city limits and kept following Hwy. 101 down the western seaboard. I was thankful that my dad was giving me some time to burry the past, before he started in with the whole _journey of the soul _thing.

We pulled over and ate breakfast at a roadside café, then climbed back aboard our VW horse, set for the next few hours at least following Hwy. 101 until we hooked up with Interstate 5 just outside of Willapa Bay which would take us into Oregon. Dad had me turn east when we crossed into Oregon and we headed toward Warm Springs Indian Reservation outside of The Dalles.

"You know it's getting late. Don't you think we should pull over somewhere for the night?" I asked impatiently, not entirely sure where we were going and why.

"We will when we get to the reservation. I think they have a campground there. Yes, keep going. The map shows Kah-Nee-Ta's RV Park near the Village. We're going to get to know some of the people of the Wasco, Paiute, and Warm Springs Tribes. I think this is as good a place to start as any."

Now I was starting to get worried. We were hundreds of miles from home and my dad was going to go up to total strangers and say he wanted to get know them. What had I gotten myself into? I was miserable enough, without being embarrassed by my dad and put into a bad position.

But I kept quiet and kept driving. We reached the RV Park by sunset and we got out at the small office to go in and pay our fee. It felt good to stretch my legs, and while my dad took care of getting our pass, I found the nearest restroom.

When I came out, my dad had struck up a conversation with the elderly Native American man who was behind the counter and they were laughing and talking just like they were old friends.

"So you two young fellas are Quiluete? My grandfather married a woman from up your way, so I guess that makes us practically cousins," he said, laughing with a toothless grin.

"One Bear, this is my son Jacob," my dad said, introducing me to the man. "Jacob, this is Thomas, but he prefers to be called One Bear."

"Good to meet you," I said, shaking his hand.

"We are having a small gathering tonight Billy near the warm springs at the foot of the mountains. It's a private gathering, but why don't you and Jacob join us? We will have fine food and then we will hear the stories of our people. You and I both know how important it is to pass down our history to the younger generations."

"One Bear that would be wonderful. Can we bring anything?"

"No, just your appetites and an open mind. This is the time to free yourselves from the worries of today and travel with us back to another time, when life was much simpler," One Bear said, thoughtfully, then he continued. "Let's see, you boys are going to be in space 12, so why don't I pick you up in say, an hour?"

"That sounds great. We'll see you then," my dad said, turning to me and winking.

We got into the VW and went to find our space. We made sure things were ready for when we returned so we could take our showers and get ready for our first night out on the open road then we waited for our ride.

"I'm not so sure coming on this trip was such a good idea," I said quietly, while I sat in the opening of the side door of the VW.

"Why? Are you afraid you'll forget about her?"

"No," I snapped and shot up to look at him.

"You can never escape the past Jake, but you can look to the future. You have the rest of your life ahead of you and like it or not, you have responsibilities to your people. You have been given a gift, one that I was not lucky enough to receive, and you must use it wisely."

"I've never seen being a wolf as a gift, dad, and you know that. But I do man up to the responsibilities of protecting the tribe, that's why I didn't bolt on you day before yesterday. As much as I would have loved to just shift and start running, never looking back, I didn't, so don't lecture me about how and what I should do," I said rather venomously and turned my back on him to look out at the landscape.

We didn't talk any more after that and soon One Bear came to pick us up. I helped my dad into the cab of the truck and I climbed into the back. I thought the fresh air and time alone might do me good.

The drive took only fifteen minutes and I was surprised when we got to the warm springs to see so many people. One Bear had said it was a private gathering, so I assumed it would be rather small.

One Bear started introducing us to everyone and soon it felt like we were a part of the group, almost like long lost family. These people were friendly and it reminded me of my own people. The Quileutes are very caring and welcoming.

After we ate, we sat down around a large fire to listen to the stories. One Bear was actually the first to start and I listened as he began.

"Along time ago, Coyote wanted to go to the sun. He asked Pokoh, Old Man, to show him the trail. Coyote went straight out on this trail and he traveled it all day. But Sun went round so that Coyote came back at night to the place from which he started in the morning."

He went on with his story and told us the legend of Coyote and Sun. It was interesting to hear a legend from another tribe, but I saw similarities with some of our own legends. I was deep in thought after One Bear finished, trying to digest his story and see if it had any real life applications, when I was pulled from my thoughts by my name being spoken.

I looked up to see my dad, at the center of attention, as he introduced me to everyone in the crowd. He then proceeded to tell the Quileute legend of the wolf protectors and how great the wolves were and how much the people depended upon them for protection from the _cold ones_.

As I listened to his words, I felt like I had been slapped in the face. It was like having to relieve everything again from the beginning to the tragic end, but I sat reverently listening to my life being told for all to hear, knowing that they would never realize that it was all real.

I wondered if there were other mystical forces out there or wether the Paiute people had protectors of their own in the form of some other animal.

There were applause after my dad finished and even a few girls came over to sit beside me, smiling like they might have an interest in me, but it just made me long for the nights Bella and I had been wrapped around each other on First Beach.

That night, after we got ready for bed, I lay in my cot and tried to relax but it was too difficult. My mind was tormented and my heart was tortured.

"It's okay to remember, you know. That's a part of growing and healing. What happened is forever a part of you and will make you a stronger man," my dad said, as he too tried to go to sleep.

"I know. I know," was my reply, as I let myself see her one last time before I went to sleep.

But sleep wasn't pleasant for me that night, nor would it be for many nights to come. The dream would be the same basically, as my subconscious tried to burry my memories of Bella, but then I would see her with amber eyes and I would wake up almost screaming in a cold sweet every time.

Dad was patient with me on the times I didn't want to talk, but other times, he must have felt like he needed to make up for lost time or something because as we traveled, his words became volumes as he told and retold me about my ancestors, our tribe, our family, the pack before me, and so on. I swear he sounded like a grandfather shaman or something and I began to wonder if this journey was about me or him.

Sometimes, I just couldn't stand to hear him talking anymore, and I would turn the radio up loud and roll down the window. As we got closer to California, I realized that it was no use and I just let him talk. I actually tried to start memorizing his stories, thinking that someday I might need to retell them to someone.

Our quest, took us down the coast of California and to many different tribes, all with similar stories and legends, and friendly people. We were lucky everywhere we went and had plenty of food to eat and always a place to stay, but after two weeks, I began to get homesick I suppose.

Things had gotten better and I wasn't having nightmares anymore. Oh, I would still dream about Bella, but her eyes were usually brown by then and I even had some where she was smiling. I began to feel like it was time to move on and go back to face my past, even it would probably break my heart all over again.

I had decided that I would tell my dad I was ready to go home the night we made it to Bodega Bay, California. I had no idea if he would be upset, or if he was ready to go back home. We had made camp and were actually cooking some hot dogs over an open just for something different, when I heard a rustling in the nearby leaves and undergrowth, then I caught a very familiar scent on the air.

I had just stood up to go see who it was, when Quil popped out of the trees, pulling on his shorts and picking twigs out of his thick, black hair.

"What the..."

"Jake! Man. I've missed you. Billy!" he called, as he ran toward us and grabbed me in a bear hug.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he let me go.

"You have no idea what I've been through to find you guys. It's hard traveling long distance without luggage and trying to fit in with civilization along the way. Hey, can I have a couple of those hot dogs? I haven't eaten since yesterday, well human food anyway, when I ran into this, ooh la la lovely brunet that let me rub sun screen all over her, if you know what I mean," he said, punching me in the stomach with an elbow.

"No, I don't know what you mean. Now why in the hell are you here?" I demanded.

"Jake, it's not polite to treat your brother and our guest like a dog," my dad scolded, trying hard not to laugh.

"Well if the fur fits..." I trailed off and took my seat back near the campfire and Quil followed, plopping down right beside me.

"Yeah, I've been trailing you guys for the better part of the week and I was afraid I'd lose you near the coast, but here I am. Don't let it be said that I don't have a great sense of smell. And do I have some stories to tell you. Jake, I met this incredible blonde named Sonja in Oregon. She let me share some of her _time_," the idiot said, as he raised his eyebrows and elbowed me again.

"And why are you here, Quil?" I asked, ready to knock his head off, even if it was nice to see a familiar face.

"I told you I came looking for you guys. But let me tell you. I got so hungry for human food when I got to into California that I stopped at this diner. I didn't have but like five bucks on me, but when I introduced myself to Lana, this long, lean, waitress with auburn hair, she feed me more than enough to keep me going all the way here," he said, and I thought to myself that I sometimes hated his over confidence with women.

He went on and on about this girl and that girl and I wondered if he was full of it or if it was all real. I figured I'd find out the truth the first time we phased together, so I let him ramble until we were finished eating. Then I knew something was up when I saw him nod at my dad.

"Quil...shut the..." I was about to say, more than slightly irritated at his rambling and even more irritated at the apparent silent communication between he and my dad.

"Jake, I have some news from home," he finally said, looking serious for the first time since he had arrived. My heart stopped and I felt a wave of dread wash over me. Did I want to know, or didn't I, were my thoughts as I stared wide eyed at him? "Jake, I have a story for you. Have you ever heard of Goldie Locks and The Three Bears?"

"What? Quil, I've been out of this _road trip _for over two weeks and I've heard nothing but stories. Legend after legend, tale after tale, and _I'm not_, I repeat, _not_ in the mood for another one especially from you," I said, expressing my mood emphatically with a loud voice.

"Well you're going to hear in anyway. There was this girl, or really a young woman, who went to this cottage, but no one was home. She was let herself in and made herself at home there, where she felt safe, and protected. She didn't try any of the beds though, except one, the one that smelled like the man she loved. She stayed there, night and day, and would cook big meals for all the big bad wolves and she even started laughing again. She, um, sends her love."

My heart stopped. Could he...was he...I shook my head and stood up? I walked around the fire a few times, then I went over to him and picked him smooth up off the ground where he was sitting and looked him square in the eyes.

"What in the name of Sam Hill are you talking about?" I said through gritted teeth.

"She's waiting for you, Jake," he said quietly and I saw compassion and relief in his eyes.

"Is she...what happened?"

"She's not a bloodsucker, if that's what your asking, and as for the rest, you'll have to get that story from her when you get back," he said, as I let him go.

I didn't know what to say, or what to do. I had been on this trip of misery trying to get over her and then all of a sudden I'm told she's waiting for me. What was I supposed to think? How was that supposed to make me feel?

Well, I knew how I felt. I was madder than hell at her. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to phase and run all night just to let some of my energy and anger out, but I knew it would not be a good idea to do that or I still might just run and never come back.

But after all the shock was over and I had fumed and walked in the darkness of the nearby woods for a while, I came back to the camp and sat down. I just stared blankly into the flames and felt the weight of all that had happen crush down on me.

Some may say it's not cool or manly, but I couldn't fight the tears that welled up and the overwhelming emotion that I felt. I was glad that she was alive and not a vampire. I was hurt that she put me through so much, and on top of all of that I was worried about her, hoping that she would be all right until I could get back to her.

Then I was angry at myself for feeling anything at all for her and not just saying that it was too late and she was out of luck. But I knew I could never do that. She was too much a part of who I was.

Quil must have seen what a mess I was and came over to put is hand on my shoulder.

"She's fine, Jake. She's fine. She even let me kiss her the other day, saying she wanted to keep in practice for when you got back."

I growled at him and bristled up like a wolf in battle, but he calmed me down saying he was just kidding, while my dad just laughed like a hyena at the both of us.

When I finally got myself under control, we all got a shower in the restrooms nearby and Quil begged us to let him sleep in the VW saying he was tired of sleeping in leaves. I told him he was more than welcome to stay, but that he had to sleep on the floor.

He didn't complain and I even gave him a blanket, but when he started snoring and talking in his sleep about his various conquests, I was ready to kill him again and so was my dad, but somewhere between Tina and Maria dad and I must have drifted off to sleep. It wasn't a comfortable sleep, but it was welcomed.

The next morning, I woke up before the others and lay there thinking of what I wanted to say to Bella when I got back home. I knew that even though I would rehearse it a thousand times before I actually saw her, it would probably all change when we were face to face.

When my dad finally woke up, he told me to get things ready, we were going home. I didn't argue and had to admit that I was ready. I was ready to face the uncertainties of what was waiting for me in La Push, but at least now I felt like I had the upper hand.

We stopped at a small restaurant just outside of Bodega Bay and went in for some food and coffee. Quil sat on the inside of the booth and my dad sat across from us in the slot for a wheelchair. We were all looking over our menus when the waitress came out to get our drink order.

"I'll have a coffee, black please," I said, looking up at the young woman who was smiling at me.

She wrote on her pad then looked to my dad and Quil. After she had their drink orders too, she leaned down and whispered into my ear, "I'd like to give you more than just my number. I get off in a few hours and I'd love to take you back to my place, to um, get to know you better," she said, letting her finger follow the line of my hair along my neck.

If I had been like Quil or maybe even one of the other guys back home, I probably would have busted my butt to meet up with her, but her touch and warm breath in my ear only made me realize how much I missed Bella and wanted more than anything to be back in La Push with her.

I smiled up at the young lady and flatly said, "I'm interested in someone else right now. But thanks anyway."

Her face immediately turned a pale shade, then she turned and walked away. I hated to be so blunt, but right then I only had one person on my mind and she was in La Push. I hoped the waitress didn't do anything crazy with our food. I'd wait and let Quil try his first before I ate anything.

Fortunately the waitress had gone on break and another, older lady came back with our food. Whether it was intentional or just good timing I'll never know, but we were able to eat our meal without me feeling so uncomfortable.

"You know boys, this reminds me of a tale my grandfather used to tell me when I was a small boy about the Q'wati," my dad said, taking a bite of egg.

"The Q'wati? I don't remember that name," Quil said, as he too took a bite and then a drink of coffee.

"The Q'wati protected our people from monsters," he said, this time laughing and throwing a look over his shoulder to where the waitress had last been seen.

I didn't say anything, but rather let my mind wander back to the story my father had told me when I too was a boy of the Q'wati. I knew my dad was joking about it now, but for some reason this legend seemed very relevant to me right then. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I would not be able to get it out of my mind the next couple of days.

When we finished, we hit the road and I drove hard trying to make it back home. I listened partially to the banter between Quil and my dad, to the stories my dad felt still obliged to share with us, and then let my mind take over and found myself wrestling with all kinds of scenarios of what would happen when we got home.

The time passed and the closer we got to La Push the more uneasy I became. But when we finally crossed the city limits line, I knew that I would have to lay my cards on the table and get all of these pent up emotions out in the open, before I could ever move on.

It was already ten o'clock, when we got to my house. Quil got out and helped Billy into his chair, while I gathered some of our things and turned toward the house. I knew she was still there, I could smell her familiar scent and I closed my eyes as I savored it. A smell I thought I would never have the opportunity to experience again.

I was just about to go inside, when my dad called my name.

"Jake. I'm going over to Quil's for the night. He wants me to teach him how to tie his lures on his fishing line tomorrow. You know. He's taking up a new hobby. One that might not get him in as much trouble," he said with a wink.

"Thanks dad. You sure you'll be okay?" I asked looking at him thoughtfully.

"Yeah, but I expect you to remember your upbringing. You're a man now Jake, so don't take that responsibility with a grain of salt."

"I won't dad. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight. Goodnight Quil," I said, waving to them both and turning to go inside.

"Jake..." Quil called, but my dad was quick to cut him off.

"Shut up Quil and push me to your house," my dad said, and Quil closed his mouth and stared sulking at me over his shoulder as he pushed him down the road.

It didn't take me long to get inside. The house was quiet and still, but I could hear her breathing, soft and slow. That wasn't the sound that made me swallow the lump back down in my throat though. It was the sound of her heart beating slow and steady, like a drum calling to me from the past.

I opened the door to my room and there she lay, curled up on my pillow. Her hair was splayed out like a fan and her arm was out from under the comforter, but the rest of her was snuggled underneath like she was cold. It made my heart skip a beat to see how beautiful she looked lying there, but I quickly remembered the hurt that we had both been caused to experience and I felt a cloud of discontent come over me.

I dropped my bag to the floor and she shifted in the bed, then I saw her eyes flutter open. I wanted to pull her to me and hold her, just listening to the sound of her heart all night, but I couldn't, not yet anyway.

"Hey. You came back," she said sleepily as she sat up in the bed rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah. I came back. I'm not sure why though," I said going over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I kept hoping you would get my message and I'd hear from you," she said as she moved a little closer to me and brushed the hair from my eyes.

"Quil found us, if that's what you mean," I said, harshly and gritted my teeth not wanting to explode or the do the opposite, and kiss her.

"How have you been?" she asked softly.

"Why should you care, Bella?"

"Jake, you know the journey I've been on, the misguided path I took and where my journey took me. So why don't you tell me about yours?" she whispered.

This was a twist. She didn't want to rehash things. She seemed to be more focused on moving forward and starting with me. I liked the sound of that. For once in our relationship, she wanted to know about me.

I said the first thing that came to mind. "Bella, I can't be _Q'wati _and save everyone from the bad in the world. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I tried and..."

"Jake. You did save me. It was your love that kept me together and brought me to where I am now. Tell me about this Q'wati. Is that a story you heard on your journey?"

I took a deep breath and for the first time, looked into her eyes. She looked more whole now than I had ever seen her. She looked like a vessel that was full, not half empty. My heart soared at the sight and I touched her for the first time, letting my fingers trace along the edge of her mouth.

She closed her eyes and sighed. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever experienced. And so it began. I lay down across the foot of the bed and told her all about my journey. About where we had gone, who we met, and the stories and legends I heard along the way.

When I finally finished, the sun was just coming up and I realized we had talked the entire night. But we needed the time together. This was a beginning for us. It was a journey for us both—for both our souls. We had both been broken and in need of fulfilment and our journey lead us back to each other, to a place of new beginnings.

I finally wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me. Whispering how much I loved her into her ear and she smiled and told me that she had loved me all along, but that she had been too blind to see.

"Jake, regardless what you say, I think that you may have a little of the Q'wati inside of you, because you did save and protect me, teaching and showing me which way to go. Thank you for guiding me."

"We have much to learn, Bella, but I think together we will be fine. After all, we have the ancestors to watch over us and their wisdom to rely on."

She just smiled and lay her head upon my chest and we fell asleep there, just like in a story book ending.


End file.
